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Allen Kwon's avatar

The pacing flows from grief, to tentative connection, to new professional hope, giving the chapter a sense of cautious forward movement.

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Apis Dea's avatar

I am thinking I am spending to much time getting to this point of the story. I am wondering if I should condense or eliminate some of the previous chapters. Thoughts? Just so you know things are going to get dark. I started writing in 2023 wondering what the near future might look like.

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Allen Kwon's avatar

Good question. I think it depends on how important that buildup is to the darker turn. If it makes the contrast sharper, keep it. Otherwise, trimming could actually make it more impactful.

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Bea's avatar

I’m going to imagine grandpa living it up in a bee oasis ❤️‍🩹 Yay for bee communication, but the government being involved makes me nervous…

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